When your kids reach a certain age (over 18) they think they know it all. They don't want to listen to you although you've most likely experienced what they're going through or something similar or you've been there ~ done that. No decent parent wants to see their kids get hurt or make mistakes that could potentially ruin their future or their finances...so what's a parent to do?

Kids usually don't ask their parents or other trusted adults for advice "before" they make stupid decisions yet you're usually the first people they run to when they need help. I'm perplexed regarding this situation.
On one hand, I want to help them out because I don't think any parent wants to see their kids struggle or suffer but on the other hand I think kids need to pay the consequences for their actions in order to learn a lesson.
In my opinion, if kids are "enabled" or "helped out" it only teaches them one thing ~ that they can repeat the behavior. But if they have to pay the consequences for their actions, it hopefully teaches them that they DO NOT want to repeat the behavior, (or at least that's our goal.)

Is there a difference between being compassionate and/or enabling?  I'm not sure?
If we help our kids out because we want to be compassionate...are we also enabling? I've always said, and believe, that there's a very fine line between loving and enabling.

My theory is: If your "adult" kids tell you that they're big enough to do what they want then my response back to them would be: "Well, that's fine ~ but you won't do it in my house and you won't do it driving my cars and if you're big enough to play with the big dogs...then you're big enough to pay your own bills, find your own place to live, buy your own food, drive your own car, and support your own self.

I know I probably sound like the meanest person on the planet but I'm really not. I just won't be taken advantage of by anyone, especially my kids, and I won't allow anyone to disrespect me in my own home. I'm willing to give and do anything for anyone if they deserve it. I'm a kind-hearted person and I have, and continue to do a lot for unsuspecting people but I do it in silence. I'm not a person who needs accolades or  acknowledgement.

I just wish kids would listen and understand that adults who truly care about them would NEVER give them bad advice.